I Won’t Eat Your Chips!

I won’t eat your chips

If we were roommates, I wouldn’t eat your chips. What will follow is an account of why I would be a Great roommate.  Aside from the obvious 🙂  good looks and great personality 🙂 but really I like to have fun in all I do. Isn’t that really what you’re looking for in a roommate??

I’m also pretty resourceful and I’m an excellent cook. I drink beer better than most or more than most…never really clear on that one.  I have a bar in my garage and a car in my bar. I have more TV’s than toilets…actually 1 more TV…6. I have a toilet on my porch so you don’t have to walk far and one in my garage for the same reason. I have a Kegorator and a beer machine, two refrigerators…one with a food shelf one with a beer shelf. I like Miller Lite but will drink whatever you buy 🙂 I still play sports even though I shouldn’t and have an ice maker for that reason!

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I have three stereos in two rooms and only turn off two in one room. I have speakers on my patio and a grill with never-ending gas. I like to work on cars…not yours…and mow the lawn. I have more friends than I can count and three couches to choose from. I have more alcohol in my house than most bars have on their shelves and I’m a Certified Mixologist (self practicing)…truth teller there. If you don’t know what that is…a Bartender is to a Cook what a Mixologist is to a Chef! That’s right…I went to school! I don’t often put my talents to work though…I can make 100’s of drinks but only drink one…at a time!

I rarely turn down a challenge and have more stories than bones broken while performing said challenge. I’ve traveled the world but not a world traveler and I am a master of all I see but have bad eye sight! I have glasses but mostly drink from them.

And maybe the most important reason I would be a great roommate…I have three sock drawers, two underwear drawers and more T-shirts than have time to wear them. I have only two loads of laundry…white and anything not white and I rarely pee on people!

Women to the front of the line…not you Fat Jesus 🙂 I know that’s not called for…but funny!


By Tim

2 comments on “I Won’t Eat Your Chips!

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