Another Adventure With Hank Moody…Another Story of Fiction and Truths of Both Past and Present

I’m off to California for another adventure. Off to California, it sounds weird to say only because I wish I were there most of the time. Its a place where all or most of my troubles disappear or at the least make me not think of them. I wake up in the mornings and grab my surfboard and head to Trestles….at the very least just sit on the beach morning or night. The beach breeze off the ocean is crisp and the smell fills the air with a memory of past.

I’m headed to Venice again….back to see my friend Hank. https://timhon.wordpress.com/2011/05/03/so-im-having-a-drink-with-hank-moody-a-story-of-fiction-and-truths/We share the same strife…drink women love. He’s the one to hang with when in short supply of either. This trip would be the later. I just separated from my current and in need of a distraction. Venice and Hollywood can offer both of what I seek without  shortage.

On this trip I stay at the salt-air kissed sophisticated  Santa Monica Viceroy Hotel. A few blocks up from the beach, it oozes contemporary chic. A place were the worlds elite unwind in a poolside cabana or relax in the California sun. I have a suite reserved overlooking the skyline on one side and Santa Monica Beach and Ocean Park Pier to the other. The bar in the room is stocked with Vodka…Goose of course and a never-ending ice machine, along with all the mix one could need if you weren’t drinking on the rocks of course…I would be this trip!

Hank calls from the lobby as I head down, I cant help but think of my last adventure with him. Would the night involve more debauchery than the last..how could it I thought for a moment but I knew. The mood I was in would turn the tides would raise the bar. Hank could indeed feed the need. I step from the elevator and find my way to the bar were the glass is already awaiting my embrace. Hank as I would have expected did not wait for me to start. Our adventure was at hand!

We downed our drink then to the Porsche a trip up The PCH to Malibu and to the house of the Lew Ashby. A small castle of a home nestled in the hills overlooking the ocean below. It would be far from the hustle of Hollywood streets but not that of the party. Inside would be filled with the LA scene…bands recording music, movie stars looking for a party to mingle alongside the legends of rock and the latest “it” guys. A night at Lew Ashby’s could make anyone  forget your name lose your mind…lose your soul. I would be freed from the pain from the hole that was now my heart caused by the current vacancy. I thought to myself …could it fix this. This one was special…the thought of not feeling this hurt was comforting. If not for the pain though I would not feel the memory. In some small way I wanted to feel the hurt. This way I could feel something. I knew that once the pain was gone I would not think of her anymore I would not feel her hair in my hand or her skin beneath my touch….The memory was too new the hole too big…something had to be done!

We pull into the drive Lew meets us at the door…Lew, a musical genius a muse of sorts. If he likes the music a star would be born if he doesn’t its back to the drawing board or out the window with some.  What was to happen was a night that the imagination could not conger with the shallowest of morality. A night that both mind and memory would never fully recover a night of truths told but once …never to be told again. The booze girls drugs the gluttony of life the sorrow of something that would never be the same….

I wake the morning to the distant sound… the ocean waves…of music and the smell of the drink from the night before. I am not alone as I would expect the bed would be empty except to find Hank on the floor in much the same state of mind. I awake to find  the hurt the pain of which I sought to relieve was still there. The night of shame that pre-qualed the morning of pain was just that. I could not complete what I had set out to do. The thought of cheapening the memory would have rendered the real. The pain would have been gone but to have lost the pain I would have lost the memory. Something I couldn’t do. Something that special, I had to feel I had to live the pain. This time I couldn’t cheat it, I would have to live for once I would have to live life.

Tim

By Tim

Why Do We Let Our Politicians Off The Hook

I often wonder this…I watch the news all the time. I say one cannot be intelligent if they don’t watch the news and keep up with current events (I didn’t claim to be, if you were thinking). What I can’t stand when watching an interview is why does the majority of interviewers let the Politician off the hook? If I ask a question and I don’t get a satisfactory answer to that question, it’s going to get asked again…again if needed.

I’ll give you an example; a few years ago I was working for a food distributor, I’ll call…$&#CO 🙂 at a sales meeting, one of vendors was showing/demo imitation crab. Now whether you like seafood or not (I don’t) imitation crab is made from Pollock (a fish). During the questions period, I asked this; ‘How do you get it to tasted like crab”? What I got for an answer was something that a politician would say…along with some technical jargon that even he didn’t believe. So I immediately raised my hand again…How stupid it was for this guy to call on me again 🙂 My 2nd question…”How do you get it to taste like crab”? Now I caught a little flack from my superiors for this and when I asked why they had a problem with my questions, they replied…”we didn’t want to make the vendor uncomfortable” Can you believe that! I said he’s not the F-ing President! I think it should be a “New Law”…you avoid the question…Dick Punch!!!

This is what happens in the news…the reporter wants the subject to answer all their questions, so they don’t make them give the correct answers. They let them off the hook. I want to throw something through my television every time a politician avoids a question when its a simple yes or no answer. “New Law”…next time a reporter lets a politician off the hook…Dick Punch!

I can’t stand politicians, but  you know who gets my next vote? The guy or women who says “did I smoke pot”…I was alive in the sixties! “Did I have pre-marital sex” well I am a human being”. When Bill Clinton said that he smoked pot but didn’t inhale, If I were the reporter I’d have Dick Punched him…what a F-ing Douche. Know I don’t smoke pot…uh anymore! But wouldn’t you respect the man who says “I tried it once in college…it wasn’t for me…or the  guy or women that says Hell Ya I had pre-marital sex….A lot of it…(and Post) (sorry to interject there 🙂 But then I found the person I love and we raised a family. The best though was…”I did not have sexual relations with that women” Are you F-king kidding me…No wonder they only had one child…That Douche Bag doesn’t know when he’s coming or going…Pun intended!!!!….Dick Punch!

The reasons our politicians get into office and don’t do what they promised is that no one holds them accountable! The only way they get into office anyway is avoiding the questions and pointing out their opponents flaws… coincidentally they have the same flaws! I think at the end of their 1st term, they have to release a report that shows their voting record on the issues they campaigned on, If they accomplished what they said they stood for, then and only then are they permitted to run again. If they didn’t….Dick Punch! and go home.

What I want to see is a politician that has the same flaws as you and I. Maybe…Maybe they might then start acting on our behalf!

Tim

By Tim

Go “F” Yourself! You Politically Correct Douche Bag! (if I haven’t already offended you, read on)

I must warn you…as the title states, this might not read like a Disney Story…Parental Guidance may be needed. At the very least maybe my parents should have stepped in.  Now that I have your attention….Thanks Erica for the idea. You ask why….I am so so so Fricking sick of all the politically correct bull shit in this world. Everybody is all concerned that you might offend someone or some group etc that we are raising a whole generation of pussies! Yes I said it!

I have so many examples of why I say this and to list them all…well you’d probably think I was an ass (or maybe you already do)…but then again I don’t care. I will start with kids sports…not high school but kids. What the F is with giving all the teams trophies? What Freakin douche bag suggested this? If your child didn’t win….he/she doesn’t deserve a trophy! Period! What he/she deserves is your love and understanding that they might not be the best athlete. Trophies are not positive reinforcement! It’s a reward for failure! It teaches your child that he/she doesn’t have to try their best…it teaches that half effort will be enough! I sometimes wonder who started all this stuff…I’m thinking it started with the parents who came in second, or even worse…last! What these parents have to learn is…you child isn’t cracked up to play the sport. Get them an erector set, or a chemistry set! Give them a jump start on their peers and get them started on the lifestyle in which they will lead. They’re not going to be a NFL, MLB, or NBA star. What they might accomplish is to cure cancer be a rocket scientist or the next Mark Zuckerburg! (Facebook Guy). There’s nothing wrong with this, but you’ve got to stop rewarding kids for not winning. The only people you offend here are the winners!

In her Blog, my friend Erica talked about the gender rolls and that they are disappearing. http://bonbonsandmartinis.wordpress.com/2011/06/24/the-end-of-gender-cuss/ She talks about the news report the other week that made national attention…J. Crew took out an ad that showed a boy with pink nail polish on his toes. I say who cares that this might happen…it doesn’t offend me (not sure why it should offend anyone). What I do say is this…If you paint your boys toenails pink and send him to school…you better prepare him to get his ass kicked. I’m not saying I would condone this either…I’m just saying if you think all this politically correct crap is helping our society…ask that little boy when he comes home.

Now when it comes to gay and lesbian, I don’t have a problem with it…it’s not for me, but I see it no different an issue than Black and White, Woman and Man, American or Mexican. These are all issues of discrimination and freedoms….the very foundation that our nation was built on. If you have a problem with gay or lesbian, black or white or mexican…well my friend…YOU ARE THE PROBLEM! We as a people came to this country seeking refuge from religious persecution. We wanted our freedom and to worship who/how we wanted…if we would be truly free then… along with that freedom is the freedom not to worship at all.

People want freedom, but when it comes to something they don’t believe in or like, they want to restrain that freedom (that is not freedom!). Take the 1st amendment for example. Among other things it protect our right to free speech…well if speech is truly free then the words Fuck, Shit, Ass, etc should be free as well. I agree that I don’t necessarily want to hear these words all day long, but they are just words. People are all up in arms over burning the American Flag in protest…I will tell you from this standpoint of being a Marine and fighting for this country and our Flag…I don’t like it, but what better way to demonstrate our freedom than to burn the very symbol that represents that freedom! You would not catch me doing this or attending such a  protest…but to be truly free, then you should be able to protest anyway that gets you words heard. The 2nd Amendment gives us the right to keep and bare arms. By restricting this right, we are not truly free. Some say that we no longer need that right. I say this…I doubt many criminals ever attained a gun by walking into a Wal-Mart and purchasing one. Guns don’t kill people…people kill people. Do you think that once all the guns are gone that crime will just stop? People are pretty happy in their life today and safe. I will promise you this…if history teaches us anything is that it will repeat itself! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but it will. One day our government will stop making decision in our best interest and start making them in their own. Some will argue that that day has past. I’m not saying we start a revolution, I’m just saying its better to have the right to keep and bare arms and never need to use it, than not have that right and need it. We have been fortunate as a nation not to have to experience the things that other countries are experiencing at this time. To think that we are free from these things would be ignorant. All it takes is a natural disaster…just look to Hurricane Katrina for this evidence. Once people have nothing to lose and no hope…things change. Not all guns and the people who use them, use them for bad…but when it knocks on your door…I myself would like to have the ability to repel it.

In the end, this Rant and Rave…I would say this; We as a people need to stop teaching our children its okay to lose and start teaching them how to win…. By “win” I mean not only in sports, but in life! To win in both, we need to give 100% all the time and if you don’t, you will end up short. You won’t get the “trophy” you won’t graduate, you won’t go to college and you won’t be a doctor, lawyer, business owner, or any other career that leads to happiness and a successful life. Not everyone wins…What’s important though is that you do give that 100%…it might not always pay off but eventually it will in other ways.

I say, we could all stand to be a little Politically Incorrect! 

Tim

By Tim

I Always Wanted To Live On A Boat

I’ve always wanted to do that…live on a boat. I’ve even worked it all out, what I’d need. I’d first have to down size…a lot. If you’ve ever seen my closet and my 3…yeas 3 dressers full of clothes. I never throw anything out. I have clothes I wear, clothes I don’t…but might some day, clothes for working out, clothes for working around the yard. then I have clothes just for sentimental value…a concert shirt, and old favorite shirt etc. Now about the shoes…Old new and wore the F out…I don’t know why I don’t through out old shoes??? Oh yes! the coats…coats to me are like shoes are to women. I don’t know why I have so many coats except to say this…they look cool! Again, I have coats I bought that I never wear…I just liked the way they looked. If you’ve ever seen me in the winter, I usually just wear and old Columbia Fleece…I know it’s not North Face! I’m not a big fan of North Face…they look good and I know everyone has one…I think they are too warm. I like to stay warm but I don’t like to get hot. If I wear a jacket into a bar, I don’t like to take it off…I’ll forget it. My Columbia is light enough to keep me warm outside and not too hot inside.

I could live this life

Okay, now that clothes are out of the way…almost! Pants and shorts…covered, I don’t have too many of them…normal I would think. I do however have the largest collection if socks and underwear…All wearable!  I’m a firm believer in…you can never have enough of these two items. You can always get an extra day out of a pair of pants…not socks or underwear!

Okay…now onto why I’d like to live on a boat. Besides from it being freakin cool…I like the atmosphere around boats. It seems simple, relaxing. I picture waking up and standing on the edge of the boat looking over the harbor…saying good morning to a boater as they pass by as I’m drinking my morning coffee. I’d be wearing Khaki shorts or pants depending on the time of year, a white t-shirt or hoodie and either flip-flops or boat shoes (blue and white). My boat would have to have a shower and a kitchen on it…I don’t like public showers and I like to cook. I would also need a grill nearby…you can’t beat a good steak or hot dog… https://timhon.wordpress.com/2011/06/08/ask-me-about-my-weiner-too/ either way I don’t want to eat out every night. My boat would be docked in a marina that has a store and a nice bar and restaurant. This way I could drink near by or on the boat if I chose to do so. Like normal, I would know all the patrons of both and they me. I’m thinking the owners and I would be good friends and they would walk by the boat in the morning and toss me the paper or come aboard for coffee.

I’m not sure where this boat would be though. I’ve heard of people living on boats year round in the north, but I think somewhere in Florida or California most likely. I would think my boat should be at least 30 foot in length…to give me enough room to live. I would certainly like a much larger boat, but 30 foot seems doable. i think I would also have to start liking fish…but that doesn’t seem doable! I’m not a fish fan! I like to fish…maybe I can fish and then just give them away. I would also need a regular bed, not the converted table or couch.

Something to work on I guess. Maybe after the girls are all out of school…well if I don’t find something/one to keep me in a house 🙂

Tim

By Tim

Have You Ever Watched A Movie And Fell In Love

Just as the title asks…Have you ever watched a movie and fell in love? This probably goes back to an earlier blog https://timhon.wordpress.com/2011/05/02/to-all-the-women-ive-loved-before/ . I don’t know what makes me do this, I wish I knew sometimes. I can watch a movie and get totally engrossed in it that I start to feel it. I’ll walk away from the movie and have that feeling that I was in love…well not actually but I begin to feel the emotions that the writer had intended. I hope I’m not the only one that does this…if so..well I’m weird..we already know this.

I thought I’d list the movies or the women I’ve loved (from a movie), if not for just a moment (not in any specific order, but did try to start with older movies first);

Smokey and The Bandit (Sally Fields)

Mother Jugs and Speed (Raquel Welch) who couldn’t fall in love with a woman named Jugs 🙂 …I was10..okay

Any Character  Gina Gershon plays (not the movie…the character) (her movies suck 🙂

Star Wars (Carrie Fisher) not the weird hair on the side of her head…again 10 years old…

Almost Famous (Kate Hudson) (of the 3 Kate’s Fame) Love Penny Lane

Pearl Harbor (Kate Beckinsale) (again the 3 Kate’s)

Blue Crush (Kate Bosworth) (you guessed it…3 Katie’s) any chick that surfs is HOT 🙂

Love the 3 Kate’s

Entrapment (Catherine Zeta Jones)

Home Is Where The Heart Is (Natalie Portman) because anybody that dumb could like me 🙂

Ally McBeal (Calista Flockhart) cause she was quirky…I know not a movie…but hey…my list

Good Will Hunting (Minnie Driver) love her accent

Her Alibi (Paulina Porizkova) because anyone married to someone that ugly (Rick Ocasek)=Chance! + accent 🙂

Joe Somebody and Ed (the bowling ally lawyer) (Julie Bowen) just because who couldn’t

Jessica Alba any movie

Okay…I could go on, but these are just some of the Character’s that I fell in love with. I know I need help!

Tim

By Tim

My Friend Asked Me For Relationship Advice….Ha ha!

I know…Me! I still don’t know why or how he thought I’d be the person to ask such advice. I’m thinking maybe because I’ve had a shit load of them…I guess he figured that if he listened to my advise and did the exact opposite…his would work then 🙂

This is definitely (why is it every time I try to spell that word I end up spelling defiantly…just a question) going to be a short Blog…I think that if I would give someone advice on relationships it would go something like this;

Disclaimer….you are about to take relationship advise from someone who’s never had a successful one!

Try to take your time…you don’t have to rush into anything (I know I have this problem following this rule)

Don’t be a jerk or a douche! 

Don’t try to make something work if you know it’s not going to…again guilty

Try to be yourself

Absolutely don’t think you’re going to change them

Absolutely don’t think you’re going to save them…they either don’t need it or don’t want it…and you’re a douche thinking they need it!

If they have children…remember they come before you

Listen Listen Listen Listen!….To Her!!!!!!

Do things they want to do

If you get to the point where children get involved….be sure to include them..it will show them you’re not afraid…and then don’t be afraid

Never…Ever…lay your hands on them in anger!

Be honest

At some point you are going to have to tell them how you feel…be prepared that they may not feel the same

If you are lucky enough to find the right one…let them know it every day of your life!

Hold Her Hand!

 

Tim

By Tim

My Dad A Father A Teacher

My Dad is from The South….West Virginia. There they have towns named…War, Caretta, Coalwood, Bartley and yes even Honaker, Virginia…the birthplace of my grandfather or pawpaw as we called him. These towns when I drive through give you a sense that life was hard growing up in 40’s, 50’s and 60’s. Most of the adults here worked in the coal mining industry and with little hope of getting out the life that my dad would had led too. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against coal minors….it just seems like a rough way to earn a living.

My mother grew up in the same area and her father was a coal miner…these towns were set up around a mine. The mine owned everything in town…there was a company store, you had a home that was owned by the mine, your phone rang into the mine switchboard. If you needed work done at your home, the company carpenter performed the work…

My Dad came to Ohio when Whirlpool was hiring in the mid-sixties. I was the only person in my immediate family not born in The South….good old Fremont, Ohio. My dad worked at Whirlpool until the day he retired. He’s a great guy that through out my childhood shared his wisdom of cars, life, baseball (softball) and fun times. My Dad and I always had a close relationship even though he and my mom were divorced when I was very young…I don’t really remember them being together…I have vague memories of a Christmas but that’s it. My Dad is someone who always would lend a hand and when he couldn’t he’d give you that advise to help. Every time I visit my Dad, he always had something to give you…something to help…over the years I think my dad has given me a dozens flashlights, tools, lawn mowers, weed eaters, etc…anything that he thought he could do without and you couldn’t. He was there to help me get my 2nd car…I would say 1st but my mom insisted I get a different one. When that car failed, I got my 1970 Chevelle. I would eventually wreck this car, but along the way my Dad taught me how to work on it. How to change the oil, change a tire..how to make it faster.

My Dad loved his beer when I was going up (probably why I love beer so much). Everything we did, he always had a beer near by. I never really seen my dad drunk, but I’m sure there were times….something my girls probably cannot claim. He always seemed so invincible…there was a time when I was young and I saw my dad get into a fight, and my uncle had to retrain him…probably from killing the other guy. My Uncle Hubert was one of the best athletes around and as strong a man I thought there could be and it was all he could do to hold my Dad back. I’m sure this is where I get my invincibility from. My Dad had a soft side too, he didn’t show it much…a side effect from growing up in the coal towns of the Virginia’s. He wasn’t mean or anything, just strong and precise you did what you were told…he was the kind of Dad that you did something the 1st time he told you….you didn’t want to see what would happen if he had to tell you twice….no one tempted that fate.

My Dad took us on a lot of vacations when I was a kid. We would go to Virginia Beach…he taught me to body surf… probably why I love the Ocean so much. He would take us to West Virginia to see my Grama and Pawpaw… to Big Walker lookout, lovers leap, all the spots in the Virginia’s  that had a name. If there was anything we wanted, my Dad would buy. Anything we wanted to do he would do it…anything we wanted to learn he would teach. My Dad was just that…a teacher of life. If my Dad needed something built…he’d build it. If he needed plumbed…he’d plumb it…some electric work…he’d electric it…(I know that’s not a word…i just fit). He could do all these things and he taught me as well. He taught me mechanics, plumbing, electrical…he taught me to mow the lawn, how to play baseball (i was no good at it though). He taught me how to play cards how to throw a Frisbee how to fish. My Dad taught me life.

My Dad is growing older these days and I don’t seem to have the time to spend with him as much as he did with me when I was younger. It’s strange that way, I’m busy with my own family, friends and just the hustle of everyday life. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of him. I often wonder how he did all those things with us…how he was full of life how he taught me life…how he taught me mine. I love you Dad!

Tim

By Tim

I Love The Way You Smell

Like music, the scent of something or someone is a time stamp in my head. I smell something and it takes me back to when I first smelled it…it reminds me of the time the place the person. It’s lying at the beach smelling the water as it crashes on the sand and remembering all the times you had there as a kid. It’s smelling the salt water of the ocean and it suddenly takes you back to the first time I surfed..that didnt go so well. Its stepping off the plane in San Diego taking a breath and smelling the Southern California air and thinking of a life time ago when things were simpler…carefree.

The smell of something or someone is a memory like the touch and feel of a persons hair, the smooth touch of a brand new car the feel of your favorite leather chair. It’s the warm feeling you get when your senses come together to bring that perfect moment back to mind. The smell that makes you want that feeling to last forever…its the smell of your perfume. I’ll pass someone and the scent of their perfume brings back a memory a thought a feeling. I still remember everyone I’ve ever been with…I remember how they smelled what they wore how they felt. All it takes is their scent to fill the air again.

I’ll wake up sometimes and I can smell a dream …the dream …of you. I’ll roll over and smell you on my pillow. I smell you and for a moment I can see you there I can feel your hair see your face touch your skin. It’s a moment that passes but its real. It’s a perfect moment a perfect memory of you. I’ll wake up and you’re gone but the memory will be with me all day. I love the way you smell the way you feel.

Tim

By Tim

Things I Want To Do This Summer

Hopefully time will lend its means to at least some of the things I’d like to do. I love summer, mainly because I don’t like pants…or shoes that much. I think also, I just love being outside…I’m not a big fan of 90 degree weather though. I don’t like to sweat…unless I’m working out. I like the smell of the summer air…especially if you’re lakeside with the breeze blowing. Just sitting on the edge of the water just before sunset is the best time of the day to experience this or standing by a flag pole on the end of the pier with someone you enjoy.

Okay, with this Blog title I promised a list of things I want to do this summer…here it is;

Drink Beer with Friends (not sure why this is the top on my list…I do that all the time…but the list had to start…)

Swim in the Ocean

Spend time on the boat

Go to Kelly’s Island and Put-In-Bay

Sleep on the boat

Take a day trip

Go on an Adventure

Surf

Take the girls (ALL MY GIRLS) to the beach…any Beach but Grand Haven would be great

Teach Cole to Skimboard….at the beach

Go to Cedar Point at night

Go White Water Rafting

Sleep with you on the beach

Take a long ride on the Bike (motorcycle)

Kinda spend as much time as I can getting to know You

Celebrate my Birthday over and over Again

Take everyone to breakfast…I love breakfast

Have the Perfect Summer

There you have it…a few of the things I’d like to do this summer. I’m sure the list is not complete and unfortunately I’ll be unable to complete all that I want. But if just some of the things come true, I’ll have the perfect summer.  It’s already starting off that way!

Tim

By Tim

Ask Me About My Weiner Too

I know, call me what you will….Call it commercialism, sellout, what ever… I used the same title. I figured what the hell…isn’t the goal of a blog writer to have as many people read your Blog as you can??? Well with that said, my Blog had hundreds of clicks with that title 🙂 All is not lost, aside from me admitting that Anthony Weiner is a douche, this Blog will be devoted not to the Wiener of Weiner’s but to the Delectable All-American Summertime grilling perfection that is a Perfect Hot Dog!

To obtain the “Perfect Hot Dog” you would have to have the knowledge first of what it takes to know what the “Perfect Hot Dog is”. I can tell you that along with the vast knowledge of useless shit floating around my head, I posses such a knowledge. Now I’m sure you are asking yourself how in the world does Tim posses such a knowledge and what makes him think he alone has this such “gift”? Well aside from just filling a couple extra lines in this blog and getting a good laugh while doing so, I will explain. You see, as most of you who know (or may not know), I am a salesman by trade. Not only am I a salesman but I have for many years sold “Food”. I will tell you a little secret about selling food from a broad line food distributor….I sold the best food you can buy….and the worst. That’s the benefit of such a distributor. In doing so, I’ve learned what makes food Good quality and what make it poor quality…

Okay, back to the story…Hot Dogs are by nature the leftover of the meat world. I won’t get into what’s in a Hot Dog (at the very least it SHOULD be actually something you want to eat), but lets say…you buy the “store brand Hot Dog”  (or some well know name brands), you put it on the grill and it burns black and shrinks all up and gets miss-shaped. My question is…do you think it’s supposed to do that? If you answer “Yes” well then don’t read any further, just close this page and don’t ask me over for a cook out 🙂 For those of you who answered “NO”…. READ ON!!!! You are Correct….much like a hamburger, if it shrinks all up and gets mis-shaped, it’s full of fillers and fat and whatever else the manufacturer wanted to put inside of it to produce the lowest cost and cheapest quality Hot Dog there is. If you ever want to learn the difference first hand, go to the store and purchase the cheapest hot dog they sell and then purchase the most expensive one they sell and grill side by side…you’ll get an education. You see, in the food world…there’s not really such a thing as a sale. In the “Food World” you get what you pay for. A Good quality Hot Dog should be free from fillers….(fillers that are used in Hot Dogs are this…cereal, flower, wheat gum, meat fat, beans, other internal organs etc) (I know I said I wasn’t going to get into what was in a hot dog but I could really explain if I didn’t). Now reading that…do you really want that “Bargin Hot Dog”…I hope not! Now before you get too excited, all hot dogs have “other ingredients” in them, that’s what makes up a hot dog. The question is….where does it fall on the label. In the front=BAD towards the end=GOOD.  In my experience, the difference between a “Perfect Hot Dog” and a “Piece of Shit Hot Dog” is less than what you can find in the floorboards of your car…that’s a god-damned Truth Teller right there!

Should you decide that from now on you’re not going to skimp on these delectable All-American Summertime Treats…then I will share this little treat with you. Here is a list of Approved Hot Dogs that make it onto the “Tim’s Perfect Hot Dog List” (in order of preference of course) These Hot Dogs contain no or very little fillers;

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Nathan’s

Hebrew National

Oscar Meyer (Food Service Brand…sorry leaves out most stores)

Bests Kosher

There are some…other brands but for the most part..we’re done here

(if you think Ball Park is a “Perfect Hot Dog”…don’t ever talk to me again…Please)

I’m sorry if you don’t see your favorite Hot Dog on this list, but much the same that you would expect me to know how to perform brain surgery, I wouldn’t expect you to know what the “Perfect Hot Dog” is 🙂 Good Luck, Good Shopping and Good Grilling!

Tim

By Tim