Keeping with my tradition lately of a serious blog and a less than serious blog, todays blog is a lot less serious than yesterdays…unless you happen to have been a part of what you will soon read. What is to follow are some of the things experienced by my friends though out my life…I would say just because they know me, these things happened to them. Maybe, maybe not, maybe its the uncontrollable train wreck that is my life. I’m sure you’ve experienced this…It’s like when you started riding a bike for the first time. You see that tree ahead, you know you should turn, hit the break…something…but no, you’re powerless…you plow right into it. That’s kind of me…
Disclaimer; Don’t try this at home!
If you hang with me, this might happen to you;
You might bite through your tong in a car accident
You might get into a car accident…(5 cars, 2 trucks, 1 motorcycle and 2 dirt-bikes) only a couple were my fault though..maybe more
You could follow me over a cliff and think to yourself…I’m not going to see my wife again!
You could end up in a Hot Tub full of girls and think to yourself…My wife’s never going to want to see me again!
You could spend more money on Beer than you ever thought imaginable and think out loud…I’m never going to tell my wife 🙂
You could leave for a concert and not return for 4 days….and be supplied with the best alibi ever
You could stop by my house for a drink and end up buying a plane ticket to California…
You could walk with a limp the rest of your life…really sorry about that
You could learn exactly what NOT to say to the Police and what the back seat of a Police car looks like…all in the same day
You could get lost in the desert…lose your mind, get dick punched and still make it home by sunrise
You could learn to be part of the problem and not the solution…and vise-versa
You could learn when to run…1st clue is if I’m doing it…don’t ask…just run!
You could find out that even though it’s polite, don’t offer me half your sandwich….everyday! I just might take half one day
You can find out that I am not the voice of reason!
You would know that using the excuse “I was with Tim” can get you out of certain kinds of trouble
You would also know that a little bit of trouble is the same as a lot of trouble
And Finally you should have learned by now that if I say….”Don’t Worry”….Start worrying. “We won’t get in trouble for this”…means I have no clue what I’m talking about. And, “We’ll be home by dinner” means we might make it back this week
If you’ve read through this list and have first hand knowledge of 3 or more of these; you are probably one of my closest friends (although I don’t know why), you might be divorced or at the very least are forbidden to hang around me again, and in an extreme case you never want to see me again. Anyway, most cases though you had the time of your life…I know I did!