I’m not feeling that good today so I thought I’d write a few things about that. There are sad days and happy days…but I wouldn’t change it….my life.
You see through out our lives we experience things that shape who we are. Some people go through these things and come out wrecked on the other side, some come out unchanged. Some come out unable to feel anymore, and some come out like me. The old saying “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”…well I guess I am the strong one.
This year has been hard on a lot of people I know and myself included. I’ve been to more funerals in the last six months than I have my entire life compiled. I’ve lost loves, friends and life long friends. One wonders what the world will bring the rest of the year. I ended last year and started this year with the greatest feeling one could have. I thought that finally after years of a failed marriage and the trials that would follow that this was going to be one of the greatest times of my life. The first two months would however change the path in which I started down once again.
Then came the deaths….one who I’ve shared time with. She passed too early in her years. I would have thought this would be the most difficult thing I would have to do this year, then came a life long family friend, then a new friend then more. This new friend touched so many lives as could be seen by his funeral. Like the first this year he to passed way to early and in such a tragic way. I’m not sure why his death impacted me so much. Maybe because of the events of the months and weeks prior. Maybe because we had plans to do things that will never be completed now, maybe it’s because I saw how his life impacted so many.
These things happened and I can’t change them. The question I posed is this…If you knew…what would you have changed. If you knew that something was going to hurt so much that the thought of getting up the next day would be unbearable. Would you have chosen a different path?
I wouldn’t change a thing. Had I know that my marriage would have failed….if not for the marriage I wouldn’t have my two beautiful, smart and talented girls that give me the joy and sometime the heartache in my life. Would I have chosen not to endure the time in the Marine Corps had I know it was going to be hard…If not for that time, I would have not known some of the worlds greatest men that I’m proud to call my friends (and you wouldn’t have been able to read yesterdays blog…or a few others). I wouldn’t have lived a life of adventure nor would I have learned to take some of the biggest chances that change my life forever.Would I have chosen not to try again….had I not, I would have never met the most amazing and beautiful little girl who gave me hope.
I thought about that this morning as I heard a Garth Brooks song “The Dance”. Our lives are better left to chance, I could have missed the pain, But I’d of had to miss the dance. Had I missed this dance…
I’d have missed you.