I’m Glad The World Didn’t End Last Week

I can say without a doubt, that I’m glad that the world didn’t end last week. This year has seen a lot of ups and downs, I would have to say that I’m in the up column again…for the moment…Kinda ūüôā¬†There are a lot of reason I could say I’m glad…mainly though because I’ve got a few things left I want to accomplish…namely my GOAL!!!!!. I’d also like to see my girls graduate college, get married and have a family of their own…someday.¬†I would have to say though if the world had ended last week, I would have gone out on a high note. Since the world didn’t end, I must thank someone for the following things that have gone right these past couple weeks.

I’m thankful for;

The break in the rain, so that I could mow my lawn

My friends and family

For the start of summer

That school is out….soon (save $$$ for lunch, supplies, fees etc)

Last night and every night since my birthday ūüôā

That the boat didn’t sink or that it started and we didn’t get stranded on Erica and Mike’s first voyage

For my brother from another mother Mike who proposed to Malinda

For Malinda for saying yes and not making it an awkward ride home on the boat (had                                                                                      she said no)

To the guy who sold me my new mower….it works great…got to love Craigslist

That you are still reading this lame Blog

Well the week passed and it didn’t end…I bet that guy feels like a jackass!!! hopefully the jokes not on us. I think maybe instead of so many people focusing on the fact that it was going to end,….maybe they should have been focusing on how we’re going to save it. Either way, I’m glad we’re all still here…well most of us anyway ūüôā

Tim

By Tim

I Yelled “Fore” In Every State

Once again, I’ll have to thank my friend Erica (check out her Blog on my Blogroll to the right) for this idea. This adventure starts off while I was in the Marine Corps but is not a Marine Corps story in itself. You know the old recruiter’s sales pitch…”Join the Service, See the World” well I did. Along the way though I made a goal for myself…something fun to pass the time and at the end I could say I accomplished something in my life.

I came up with the brilliant idea that I would golf or at the very least drive a golf ball in every state in the country. I was only 19 or so…then it seemed like a lofty goal. Anyway I figured I’d have 50-60 years to accomplish this. Sometimes though just to¬†satisfy this goal, the term golf or drive a golf ball is¬†loosely defined. Two things would aid me in this accomplishment…first, the USMC saw fit to route my plane back from Okinawa, Japan through Alaska and secondly, they also sent me to Hawaii. Now with these two hard targets out-of-the-way, the¬†possibility was growing closer.

One would think it strange and damn near impossible now a days to board a plane with a driver or a 7 iron in hand and Titiliest 1 in pocket. ….I was making a layover in Denver and didn’t want to miss out on this opportunity. So I am fortunate that this instance¬†occurred¬†several years ago (before 911)… of course I would have to explain several times my goal to many at the airport and on the plane and once again at Denver airport security.¬†Fortunately for me, Denver Airport had an ample makeshift¬†¬†fairway just outside the doors….well not completely but who’s going to follow you back through airport security. Besides, those airport shuttle busses are like tanks anyway…golf balls¬†ricochet off them very well.

Sometimes I would plan my trips and drive out-of-the-way just accomplish what I was soon to believe was not impossible. I once was in a bar in Kansas City, MO at the edge of the Missouri River drinking a beer with a colleague discussing this goal when the owner says ” We drive¬†golf balls off the roof into the River all the time”. “GOAL!!!!!!!!” without hesitation, I picked up the driver and up through the opening to the roof I went…with a trail of followers to witness. To accomplish this goal of standing in one state and driving a golf ball in two states, I would need to at least reach the center of the river….Now anybody who has golfed with me knows that on any given day I can hit a ball like John Daly, Happy¬†Gilmore¬†or Tim Conway’s “Dorf on Golf”. Which one would I be today??? was the question??? Let’s just say it took a long time to get warmed up. I used up whatever balls the were in the owners bag and even sent a local to the store for 2 dozen more while I¬†regaled my story of this feat to the patrons of the bar. I am proud to tell you that nearly 4 dozen golf balls late the John Daly in me showed up. I dug in my stance (as much as one could do on an artificial golf turf rug) slowly brought the club to the top of my swing and started my downswing with my eye on the ball. At the time of impact my head was down my wrists tight and hips were ready for follow through….then it happened…. “The Ground Shook, The Sky Opened, and Mere Mortals Parted”…the ball jumped off the club face and soared straight and true as it climbed its way up and away from the roof. I slight tail gust from the Gods of Golf and to the many of witness I had done what I thought earlier would be impossible….I had reached the center of the Missouri River and in doing so I drove a golf ball from Kansas City, Missouri to Kansas City, Kansas….the crowd said it was a “Gimmy” who am I to argue….GOAL!!!!!!!!

I’ve¬†successively done this in many states prior and since, sometimes¬†stepping¬†out of a Denny’s after breakfast on my way to Florida and pulling a ball and tee out of my pocket and reaching into the trunk of my car and let it fly across a parking lot, highway or into the side of a Walmart. My favorite though will still be the roof of that bar in Missouri.

To this day, I’ve not yet accomplished the goal of all 50 States, but¬†I’ve¬†had a lot of fun and I’m well on my way. So if you happen to be traveling with me and you hear “Fore” take heed turn to and duck. At the very least get your ass in the car and start it…we may have to make a run for it.

Tim

By Tim

Things You Miss About Home…Like Bounce And Tide

I’d have to say thanks to Erica and Amanda for this blog idea….but there is a new twist to missing home. It’s the story I guess all young men can relate to when leaving home and venturing out on their own. Now me, I didn’t really venture out on my own more than I did venture into the Marine Corps. So yea you guessed it…I managed to tie another Marine Corps story in to this blog.

I missed my Mommy;

I miss all the things she did but of all the things you miss about home and this blog could go on forever about this subject, I missed the way my mom did my laundry. You see when you’re a young man and out on your own…whatever your path may be. You don’t always pick up all those things about the domestic chores from your mom. You see when I was 18, I could change my oil, pull an engine or build a house, but ask me to do my laundry….I was dumb founded. My mom always did that for me…hell she still would if I let her….thought to self take laundry to mom’s this weekend… :). While in bootcamp though, we had to wash our own clothes, but we didn’t get to use washing machines…no way. We had a scrub brush and a bottle of Wisk and a garden hose. Things got much easier though after bootcamp or so I thought….well at least I didn’t have someone yelling at me while I was washing my clothes.

This is what I figured out on my own about laundry…good or bad they were clean but not always the same colors in which they began. As a Marine, you wanted to conserve as much money for the weekend so you¬†topically spent little on things like laundry detergents. After a time you forget the little things. So what you end up with is clean clothes but they just didn’t seem the same as when mom did them. Then one day I met a girl…well a lot of days I did, but this one I kept around for a while. We in fact moved into an apartment together…if you read my previous blog…”With a Tear….Click link if you haven’t¬†https://timhon.wordpress.com/2011/05/04/with-a-tear-i-write-these-words-from-a-fathers-eye/¬†little girl number one came into my life here. Anyway, back to the tail…She started washing my laundry. I remember putting my clothes on (by clothes I mean Marine Corps running shorts and green t-shirt) to head to base to get ready to run 5 miles with the platoon…I remember that smell, the smell of freshness….the smell of home my mom.

I showed up to formation at 0600 or 6:00 am for you civilians. Standing at attention I heard it…the Marines all around me sniffing…thinking to myself …what are they doing. Then it came to me…they were sniffing ME! I felt like the “Prison Bitch” They were trying to figure what that smell was. What they were smelling was Tide…Bounce…Home!!!!!

Let’s just say from then on, I made sure that I washed my shorts and t-shirts and uniforms….Kassie washed everything else!

Tim

By Tim

Prom Night….Have You Seen My Daughter With My Credit Card Prt II

I thought I’d do a follow-up Blog to my past blog¬†https://timhon.wordpress.com/2011/04/25/have-you-seen-my-daughter-with-my-credit-card/¬†Since my daughter”s high school prom was Saturday night.

Now normally you can’t get her out of bed on a Saturday before noon unless you beat her with something. Today was different though. I woke up at my normal 8ish and stumbled out of my room on the way to the much-needed restroom. What did I find???? a closed-door. She had beaten me to it. The prom which was to start at 8:30 that evening, my daughter had already begun to get ready. Good bye to anything normal that would have happened that day.

My day had been planned around “The Prom”. After the normal Saturday morning routine of picking up the house and a coffee, I heading to my friend’s house to help get ready for the “House Prom Group” of which my daughter and her date were a part of. This consisted of 14 teenage kids (7 couples). We had decided to plan and cook and then serve their dinner. If this is something that you haven’t experienced, let me tell you, it was one of the best days…nights with my daughter I’ve ever had. The dinner, which was to be Roasted Pork lion, Grilled Chicken Breast, Finger Potatoes, Beans and Carrots and a few other side dishes prepared by other parents. Deserts included, Chocolate covered strawberries, and two trays of individual Cheese Cakes. All served by us parents. Now this day started out early enough to get all this accomplished. Big Top Tent, tables, white chairs, white linen table clothes, and purple linen napkins. The weather was great, the beer was cold (for the adults) and the day started. All had to be completed in time for pictures at Spiegel Grove (The home of Rutherford B. Hayes and his Library) which was to be 4:30ish…..Chicken to be grilled just after.

The first couple started arriving around 4ish and then it happened. My daughter arrived; I can tell you know, it didn’t matter what I spent on that dress….I don’t care if cost a $1 or $10,000, the site of her brought a tear to my eye. I don’t think I’ve ever seen something more beautiful in my life. The rest of the group came in and the girls who got ready at the house came pouring out. All I could think is…they didn’t make girls this beautiful when I was in school. Each and every one of them were stunning. I’m sure they made their parents as proud of them as I was of mine. The guys looked like they stepped out of a catalog….perfection in Tux.

We headed over to take pictures and what an ordeal this was, but they got through it….as I would soon learn, pictures are more for the parents than the kids. I’m sure they would have been happy with one or two and not the 200 I took….I would not be alone though. After pictures we all headed back to finish up the cooking and then dinner to be served. The Limo Bus arrived and a last few pictures to be taken as they head off to what could be the best night of their lives.

When it was all said and done, It was probably one of the best day/nights of my life. To be able to share it with my friends was incredible. Thank you Tom and Nancicarol for asking me to be apart of this day.

Tim

By Tim

If Today Was Your Last Day

With the world ending tomorrow I thought I’d take a moment and think…what would I do “If¬†today¬†were my last day”. What would I do today that I haven’t done…what do I have left to do….what can ¬†do. Well if you look in my wallet…not much. Aside from all the obvious…hold my girls, tell my mom and dad I love them maybe¬†apologize for all the wrong things I’ve done and celebrate all the right.

If today was my last day, I think I could be pretty pleased with my life. I think as I look back over mine, I’ve done and seen things that take some a lifetime. I’ve lived loved and traveled the world. I’ve done the good the bad and one time…the ugly. I’d have to say that I’ve for the most part lived my life like there’s no tomorrow…at the very least I didn’t plan for it. There are things I’m sorry for, but I wouldn’t change much. If today was my last day, I think I would at least do the following;

I would tell you how I feel

Spend the day outside

I’d have a Miller Lite with my friends

Listen to some music

Call Jim and Tom

Go see Macy

Help somebody

Mow the grass

Play Frisbee

Walk on the beach

Hold a hand

Eat a Good Steak

Put on some shorts

Wear Flip Flops

Tell you I love you

Go Home

There’s probably some things I missed in there, but that pretty much covers it. I’d just spend the day doing what I like. I don’t think I worry about what’s next…is there something next. If today was my last day….I’d live it just like any other day

What Would You Do?

Tim

By Tim

I Don’t Like The Silent

I hate not hearing anything. I have a radio in my garage, my kitchen and upstairs in my bedroom. I think that if you walk into my house you will hear all of them playing at once. I simply don’t like the silence.

I think it’s worse when you’re alone. I hate sitting in an empty house and hearing nothing but your own¬†breathing. It’s eerie…kinda of like watching a scary movie by yourself or at all (I don’t like scary movies either…they’re scary). I have to change the subject for a minute…scary movies…what’s up with you people who write this shit? I saw a movie a couple of months ago…Silent Hill. It freaked me the F..K out! Who puts a movie on like this, knowing I don’t like scary movies…then falls asleep…thanks Carrie!¬†

Okay, back to the moment…I don’t know why I don’t like silence…maybe it gives you too much time to think, maybe when you can’t hear anything you make up stuff to hear. It’s like walking alone in the woods….you hear all kinds of stuff that makes you think you’re not alone in the woods. Then you start thinking about what really might be out there. When I was a kid, I use to walk home from my girlfriends house at night and every time I would get to a spot on a street that the light was out, I’d run until I got to the part of the street that was lit. Like whatever evil was in the dark couldn’t follow me into the light. It’s the same with that one creepy house on the block too…run past it! Maybe that’s why I have to sleep with some kind of light on…I’m afraid of the dark…and the silence. I’ve come up with a fix for this though…I sleep with the TV on…sound and light!

Okay back to scary movies….they can be fun…sometimes. I won’t¬†voluntarily watch a scary movie, but if you want to watch one, I’m not going to pussy out and not watch…but you had better stay awake for it. I on the other hand will fall asleep if you turn the lights off…not because I’m scared, but because after 8:30, you turn the lights off and you want me awake, the TV better not be the only thing getting freaky ūüôā just saying. I think that’s automatic with me…turn TV on, light off and I get sleepy. So here lies the scary movie trick with me…you put it on, leave light on, and sit beside me….Tim’s guide to scary movie date night. Oh ya…don’t pick a movie that the¬†villain just keeps coming back after you shoot him 10 times…Its just going to piss me off.

Tim

By Tim

My Guide To Travel Points….Collect Them!

I thought I’d pass along some of my wisdom of travel… Priority Points. Much like a Kroger Card or Gas Card or any other rewards card passed out by a store chain, Travel Rewards or Priority Points that are offered by hotel chains are as good as money. Guess what else….they’re free.

You don’t have to be a business man or women to collect points. All you need to do is go to the hotels website and sign up. some will even give you 5000 points just for doing that. The average free room at say a Holiday Inn Property (Crown Plaza, Holiday Inn and Suites, Holiday Inn Express, Staybridge ¬†Suites) is anywhere from 10,000-25,000 points. Every quarter they put on promotions that give you the opportunity to earn extra points by just staying 1-5 nights. Sometimes is stay two nights get a free night, sometimes it’s earn double points, sometimes its stay 5 nights from January – June get 20,000 points. Any way you look at it adds up to free room or vacations for you and your family. As you collect points, you also become¬†valuable¬†to the hotel. you move up to their Gold Club or Platinum Club with entitles you to earn extra bonus points for just staying. You also gain access to the club level rooms and ¬†Concierge Room…free food and Beer and Wine.

Another tidbit I’ve learned over the years of traveling for work…You don’t need Priceline to get a discount or free upgrade. upgrades are free most time when you belong to the hotel’s rewards club…but always just ask for the upgrade. A lot of the times they will just give them to you for free if it’s a slow night.¬†Regardless of memberships in any of these clubs, you should always do your homework. By homework I mean, look to see if there are any corporate offices located near or in the same city as your travel destination. If so start making the call…to the hotels. You will want to pick higher end hotel chains for this mission…Hilton, Holiday Inn,¬†Marriott, etc.¬†A lot of the times these hotel chains compete for their business clients and will offer blanketed discounts. In my experience I’ve never been asked to show proof that I am associated with those businesses. All you need to do is find out what business is located near…say for example when going to Detroit, ask the hotel clerk (on the phone) if they have a special rate for Ford. If so, just let them know You are coming in from out-of-town for a meeting. That’s all it takes. You can get up to 30-50% discount for the rooms. Sometimes that’s a difference of a meal for 4 sometimes. Either way these hotels are not out anything, most offer discounts through one avenue or the other, just to fill rooms.

My last bit of travel news is the coveted Airport Sky Lounge. If you fly 2 or more times a year, you will want to join. Check with your credit card company, most have partnerships with one or more of these that will give you free access to them. Why you ask do I want in….Let’s say you arrive at an airport and get through security and have 1-2 hours to spare before your flight. you go to your gate and find…no seat. Or, the very uncomfortable seat. Say you are hungry for a snack….any sandwich or beverage will cost you an arm and a leg. But if you have access to the Sky Lounge….you get for FREE….snacks and beverages. Along with FREE WiFi. If you are traveling with your family, it won’t take you long to figure out you just saved $30-$50. Most times very comfortable leather chairs or couches….some recline. This is great, say if your flight gets cancelled and you have to wait longer than expected. Some airports even have an open bar in which you go make your own cocktail….FREE!!!!

I will end this Blog by this….COLLECT THE POINTS…YOU CAN”T LOSE!!!!

Tim

By Tim

With Love I Write These Words From A Father’s Heart

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a Blog (a letter) to the little girls who’ve change my life. At that time I chose not to publish the letter I wrote to my daughter’s. After some consideration, I thought I should just put it out there. If you missed the Blog I wrote a couple of weeks ago, click the link to read.¬†https://timhon.wordpress.com/2011/05/04/with-a-tear-i-write-these-words-from-a-fathers-eye/

To Danielle Normalea and To Sydney Ann.

The days when you arrived in this world, I was happy, excited,¬†anxious but mostly scared shitless. I didn’t know how you would see me, how I would see you, could I love you as much as you needed. Then the day came and I discovered that I couldn’t feel anymore joy, anymore love and anymore pain in the world. Having a hand in raising you and loving you has been the most ¬†profound experience of my life.

The memories of first holding the both of you will last a lifetime in my heart. When I think about reading to you or dancing back and forth while listening to The Lion King soundtrack trying to put you to sleep, it brings a tear to my eye. I’ll never forget just spinning in circles with you in the living room or the Butterfly Kisses at night. It still makes me laugh when I remember putting lemon juice on the top of your water bottle and watch the two of you giggle at the sour taste. The time when we were all a family together were good times….times that were suppose to last forever.¬†I¬†apologize¬†to you for my part in that ending. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be there for every new tooth, for every pain or sickness. I’m sorry if my actions or in-actions have caused you pain. I’m sorry if I’ve caused you¬†embarrassment or brought shame to you.

As you know by now, I’m basically a child myself…some would argue worse. Sometimes I know it doesn’t seem like I care about anything at all and other times everything. One day I’ll perfect this emotion and maybe grow up to be the father you expect…you deserve.¬†If I could have you believe one thing as you go forward, believe in yourselves. The both of you are so beautiful…You’re kind, loving and talented. The both of you have hearts of gold and will do amazing things with your lives.

Sydney, you are wise beyond your years, your knowledge astounds me. You are growing up so fast, but be patient…take some time out to be a kid. Your childhood won’t last forever and soon you’ll be on your way to teach the world. Take the time to play to, to run through the fields and get dirty. I love you more than I can put thought to words, I’m proud of you and I cant wait to witness your next chapter in life…you were born to spread joy.

Danielle, your charm is only eclipsed by your energy. I wish I could harness it for the world to use. Your gift of life is to bring happiness to others. A smile from your face can mend the weakest of hearts and your frown can tear a fathers out. These 17 years have gone by so fast, I remember teaching you to ride a bike like it was the other day and now you’re driving a car and about to enter your last year of school. I love you dearly and I’m proud of the young women you’ve become.

The thought of living in a world where the two of you don’t exist would end the world in which mine does. Your¬†existence has brought an un-measurable¬†¬†amount of happiness to mine. The two of you will go on to bigger and brighter things than my life could have ever offered. The feelings I have for you can never be expressed on paper but felt in my heart.

I love you dearly

Dad

By Tim

What’s Your Sign

Relationships are hard…they’re hard to start, hard to finish, to accomplish. When I was in grade school, they were easy…easy as I like you, do you like me circle yes or no. In high school, you just had your friend asked the question…then you knew the answer. Today, you can be with someone for months and still never know the answer to that question.

What does it take to be in a relationship, when is it a relationship? If you ask me, it’s the moment one or both of you expect something from the other. It’s the moment you say “can you get me a gallon of milk on your way here”, it’s the moment you say “don’t go out with your friends, stay here with me” and it’s well before the moment you tell someone you love them.

I wish people came with signs.¬†They could wear them on their chest or on a card that they have to show you when you meet. The signs would reflect who and what they want or something that alerts you to how you approach them. Something like; I’m emotionally closed off because of my past relationships or I hate being alone so I just want to marry you or anybody, or I will lead you on and on and on and then and I’ll even get mad if you go out with someone else, but I’m never going to commit to anything (I know that’s a big sign…). If we all had signs, we could just weed our way to the sign that reads; I really want to meet you and find out about all your hopes and dreams. Or, I think you’re interesting and fun, we should take the time to get to know each other. This way we could all just find the right person, without all the trouble and pain. I know it’s suppose to be hard, I just wish it was a little easier…I wish there was a sign that reads; I’m the right one.

Here are some other signs I’ve seen or heard of that you might want to weed through;

I’ve got a shit load of kids, enter at your own risk

I have no job or ambition in life except to have you take care of me

I will fake a pregnancy just to keep you around then fake an abortion

I will use my child to make you love me

I just want to hurt somebody, anybody…because I’ve been hurt

I’ve had a shitty life and you owe me

I know it sounds like I’m doing a lot of bashing and that’s not my intention. I know we all have baggage that sometimes gets in the way…I just wish we could put it down a little more often. I’m just trying to say, it shouldn’t have to be this hard.¬†Most of these signs I speak of, I’ve not encountered all myself. I’ve gotten a lot from others and to be fair and equal, you should get to read my signs….

¬†I’m not as responsible as I should be

I sometimes drink too much

I don’t know what I want

I can be difficult to understand

I’m not always as happy as I seem and may take it out on you

The sign though that I hope ¬†would be on top should read; I had a good time, I like you and I want to learn more about you. Along the way I’m going to make a lot of mistakes but I’m going to keep on trying to find you, find the person you are and I hope that takes a lifetime. I know that’s a big sign…but I’ve got room to wear it.

What sign will you wear?

Tim

By Tim

This Could Happen To You!

Keeping with my tradition lately of a serious blog and a less than serious blog, todays blog is a lot less serious than yesterdays…unless you happen to have been a part of what you will soon read. What is to follow are some of the things experienced by my friends though out my life…I would say just because they know me, these things happened to them. Maybe, maybe not, maybe its the uncontrollable¬†train wreck¬†that is my life. I’m sure you’ve experienced this…It’s like when you started riding a bike for the first time. You see that tree ahead, you know you should turn, hit the break…something…but no, you’re powerless…you plow right into it. That’s kind of me…

Disclaimer; Don’t try this at home!

If you hang with me, this might happen to you;

You might bite through your tong in a car accident

You might get into a car accident…(5 cars, 2 trucks, 1¬†motorcycle and 2¬†dirt-bikes) only a couple were my fault though..maybe more

You could follow me over a cliff and think to yourself…I’m not going to see my wife again!

You could end up in a Hot Tub full of girls and think to yourself…My wife’s never going to want to see me again!

You could spend more money on Beer than you ever thought imaginable and think out loud…I’m never going to tell my wife ūüôā

You could leave for a concert and not return for 4 days….and be supplied with the best alibi ever

You could stop by my house for a drink and end up buying a plane ticket to California…

You could walk with a limp the rest of your life…really sorry about that

You could learn exactly what NOT to say to the Police and what the back seat of a Police car looks like…all in the same day

You could get lost in the desert…lose your mind, get dick punched and still make it home by sunrise

You could learn to be part of the problem and not the solution…and vise-versa

You could learn when to run…1st clue is if I’m doing it…don’t ask…just run!

You could find out that even though it’s polite, don’t offer me half your sandwich….everyday! I just might take half one day

You can find out that I am not the voice of reason!

You would know that using the excuse “I was with Tim” can get you out of certain kinds of trouble

You would also know that a little bit of trouble is the same as a lot of trouble

And Finally you should have learned by now that if I say….”Don’t Worry”….Start worrying. “We won’t get in trouble for this”…means I have no clue what I’m talking about. And, “We’ll be home by dinner” means we might make it back this week

If you’ve read through this list and have first hand knowledge of 3 or more of these; you are probably one of my closest friends (although I don’t know why), you might be¬†divorced¬†or at the very least are¬†forbidden¬†to hang around me again, and in an extreme case you never want to see me again. Anyway, most cases though you had the time of your life…I know I did!

Tim

By Tim