What Tim Doesn’t Know About Women

This is my first Blog and maybe my last. I can tell you (but will not need to as you read on) that I am no literary genius. I murder the English language, both verbally and written at a rate that is nothing if not alrming. With that disclaimer aside, I thought for my first Blog I should write about my favorite topic; “Women”. So appropriately titled “What Tim doesn’t know about women”. I can tell you this with total certainty. It’s a whole lot! It would be much easier to tell you what Tim does know about women.

This is what I know;

Women are beautiful creatures, every damn one of you. There’s something about each of you. A curve here a curve there. A smile, a smirk the way you wear your hair, the way you walk, talk and sleep.  Your neck, shoulders, stomach,belly button, that spot right above your hip bone that is so soft it reminds me of rubbing my fingers across the silk end of my electric blanket when I was a kid.. To say that one women is more beautiful than the other is like saying that Brian Johnson is better than Bon Scott (AD/DC for the non-knowing). I like to quote my friend Hank Moody (not a friend more a character on Showtime’s “Californication” that I’ve been told slightly resembles my persona). “I love all you women, there hasn’t been a women I’ve met that I didn’t fall in love with whether for 10 minutes or 10 years”. You really are my life’s work. I believe this to be true and thus I’ve adopted this belief to be my own.

Women are the opposite of me. I would say men here but I think not all men, I just know opposite of me. I think some men get women. At least I think they do. I see them, the men who seem happy, who seem content. I say the opposite of me and this is my example to support such a theory. My history thus far is this; if I “like” a woman she either hates me or loves me. If I “love” a woman, she either likes me or hates me. Its a simple theory but I’ve know this to be true. Most of the time though I find myself at the wrong time in life when the woman “I get” comes around.

Women can be good friends…at first. Then what happens is (read “I like to quote my friend Hank Moody” above) you guessed it. I fall in love.  I’m a firm believer that men and women cannot remain friends (with me).  The reason behind this tidbit is this…either you were never in love or you still are.  I may write (explain) about this another time.

Women are difficult to understand. They say one thing but mean another. They ask questions that they never want an answer too. They want us to figure them out but don’t give us the instruction booklet.

I would end this first attempt at a blog by saying this. I know nothing of women except the women I’ve met. I understand them even less to be more accurate. But I know this to be true; if you are fortunate enough to find one that gets you and you get her…well you are a lucky person. I had one once and as you can tell from my writing…I didn’t know what to do with her.

Good bye until the next time…if there is a next time. Good luck, keep your head high and your spirits even higher. Drink when you can, love as often as you can and try to smile. If you are anything like me, you can’t wait for the next “10 minutes or 10 years”


By Tim

5 comments on “What Tim Doesn’t Know About Women

  1. :o) Home run, Tim. Home run.

    I hope there is a next time, because your insights could lead you to discover things you didn’t know you were looking for.


  2. You always did have a way with words. Very insightful blog… wish you the best, though I’m quite sure you’ll find her! 🙂

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